We define ourselves by our thoughts. If our mind is busy thinking, then we are not aware of our surroundings.

If we label ourselves as having a condition, we defend our behavior as deriving from that condition. If someone asks you to smile when you are extremely blue, do you defend your self by saying you are too blue to smile? Somehow we have decided that one prevents the other.

There is a common pattern I see many women have which is a need to be nice. Women who are nice all the time and don't ever say anything that may offend someone and always say the nice right thing. Often times, women will not be honest or direct about what they think or feel because they believe it is rude. I believe a big part of this development comes from cultural and familial experience.

"I FELT sorry for my wife," said the sympathetic husband. "She had worked so hard cooking lunch for some young friends of hers. But when the time for their arrival came, no one showed up. At first she was slightly irritated. Then indignant. Then downright angry to the point of tears as time ticked by. Her 'gourmet' lunch began to overcook.

Endless possibilities for your life are staring you in the face right now. Endless gateways to different futures are awaiting your entry right this moment, but you don't see it due to something that you are doing. What is it that you are doing that blinds you from seeing this doorway to new possibilities?

Many people believe that busyness or restlessness is synonymous with being happy and productive. Busyness, restlessness or agitation can be a reflection of an internal impatience with one's life. Learning to accept things as they are can help calm one's mind and allow one to notice the aspects of life that are rewarding.

Do you find yourself worrying about the past, present, or future? Do your concerns keep you up at night and even affect your health? Would you like to learn ways to prevent and "cure" this common stressful feeling?

AS THE youngster dashed out the back door of his grandmother's house, he was suddenly stopped in his tracks by her loud call:

"JUST A MINUTE!"

"Yes, grandma?"

"Now, what is it that you're going to get for me?"

"A loaf of bread, . . . and, uh . . . a pound of coffee?"

"Yes! . . . And . . .?"

"Uh . . . I forgot!"

I started my personal quest for understanding through science, which led me to psychology, which led to spirituality. I earned university degrees along the way, and have spent countless hours in workshops and seminars.

The majority of people, especially men, are indoctrinated and rewarded for holding back their emotions. However, this holding back is foolhardy, because, feelings are energy and will eventually break through the self-imposed barrier. When the feelings finally come through, it may feel as though an avalanche or a windstorm is erupting.

Do you suffer from what seems like an incurable mental disease called procrastination? Are there things you know you should do but can't even get motivated to start them?