"I FELT sorry for my wife," said the sympathetic husband. "She had worked so hard cooking lunch for some young friends of hers. But when the time for their arrival came, no one showed up. At first she was slightly irritated. Then indignant. Then downright angry to the point of tears as time ticked by. Her 'gourmet' lunch began to overcook. Yet no one even called to explain the delay." He continued: "In situations like this you start fearing the worst. (What's happened to them? Did they have an accident?) Well, as it turned out, two of them finally showed up. The others never did call."

While this might be the stage setting for the end of some friendships, Said the husband: "The next day my wife expected tearful apologies when she saw her three forgetful friends. Instead, she got nervous smiles and quick hellos. Several days then passed. I was proud that my wife decided to take the initiative to approach her friends. A few tears, some hugging and the matter was straightened out. Yet a question stuck in my mind: 'Couldn't they simply have said, "We're sorry"?'"

There is truth in the refrain of the popular song that says, "Sorry seems to be the hardest word." Why is this? Probably because "sorry" is an admission of guilt. True, we seem to have no problem admitting our faults in a general way. Tell a man "You're imperfect!" and he'll likely reply, "Aren't we all?" But tell him that he's egotistical, proud, haughty, insensitive, childish or irritating and you touch a raw nerve.

While being late for lunch may seem trivial, it is just such minor mishaps that often build seemingly insurmountable barriers between people. Yet the barricade of contention can often be torn down with a simple, "I'm sorry."

Yes, but who will be the first to say it? "Not me!" you say. You've analyzed the situation and judged yourself "innocent." "Someone has to be right," you insist. But such reasoning fails to recognize that your "adversary" likely views matters from a different viewpoint. Hence, a stalemate. Viewing apology as defeat, both sides dig their trenches and prepare for a long battle.

In a personal dispute, there is something more important than who is "right" or "wrong." It is important that peace be restored. So, when you've had a disagreement, ask yourself, "Am I seeing matters from his point of view? Am I willing to be humble? Can I be the first to say, 'I'm sorry' because of having caused someone else some embarrassment?"

There's a saying, "Sorry's just a word." But it is a powerful word. Try being the first to say it.

Frankie Goh is a family counsellor and researcher.
He manage a website : Earn Money Online http://www.ezy-cash.com He is also the Internet Marketing Co-ordinator of Ultra-Herbal Products and MoneyList Profits Program