When your partner breaks up with you, you'll have a lot of natural impulses regarding what you feel you need to do in order to get him or her back. Let me tell you right now, a lot of what you'd do naturally is WRONG! If you EVER want to get your ex back, have a listen to what I have to say.

There are a lot of mistakes people make just on instinct when they're faced with a situation like being dumped by somebody you're still in love with. Some of these mistakes are worse than others, but I'll lay out the main ones people make so that you can avoid driving deeper nails into the lid of the coffin of your relationship.

1) Rushing immediately to try to convince your ex to take you back. This is a classic blunder that we've almost all fallen into. Sometimes it doesn't kill you, but usually it's a really bad idea. If your ex JUST broke up with you, he or she is probably still MAD at you...and does NOT want to talk to you right now. Best thing to do is to give BOTH of you some space from each other and back off a bit till things have cooled off.

2) Thinking that it's your ex's fault. If you got dumped, the problem's with you. I know that sounds harsh and you probably hate me right now, but keep reading. Chalk this breakup up to a learning experience, and use it to figure out what you're doing wrong...and FIX it! So you have some issues to work out, work them out! A soulcrushing breakup can be the best thing to happen to you in your life, if only you use it as fuel to give yourself a needed renovation.

3) Pretending to be a better person to get your ex back, then dropping it once he/she IS back. In order for the second time around to end up any better than the first, you kinda have to STAY changed. If you lie to your ex to get him/her to come back to you, he/she is going to realize it as soon as you start making the same old mistakes again, and dump you flat again. Honestly, you'd deserve it.

4) Rushing things when you're in the process of getting back together. Rebuilding a relationship is a tricky, tricky time. Going too fast before your ex is ready to really take the plunge again is just going to frighten him/her off. Your ex is GOING to worry about things not working out again, and if you're too aggressive about getting back together, intimidation will win out over hope. Take it slow, rebuild a friendship and let love bloom again.

These are the four biggest things that can hurt your chances of getting your ex back. Now, this isn't everything to be careful of...but these main pitfalls are the ones that have the most potential to ruin the likelihood of pulling through this struggle and coming out on top.

Remember at all times that there are a lot of feelings flying around in a breakup, and not just your own. Your ex is going to be hit with this big mass of emotions and confusion as well, so it's important not to push them too far or they'll become unreachable. Go easy on your ex, it's really the only way to get him/her back.

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